Calvin...

when i was in jr high this specific strip, and one other about calvin having lost his marbles, earned me the nickname calvin.  well, maybe that and the description of calvin as imaginative, bratty & precocious earned the nickname.  my family loves me.  and unfortunately it is accurate... i am not the quickest.  and i definetly have a bratty streak... i am working on that tho. and i've already told you a little about denial in previous posts, so i am not lacking in imagination either...

so i found it ironic that i felt my hubby had a calvin moment... and the funniest part (to me), was it wasn't even a true calvin moment... i think he was just hopeful, not knowing for certain... when i told him dr s, my onc, was ordering a PET scan, and brain MRI because she wanted to be able to stage me before deciding on treatment... he asked so hopefully "so you may not be stage 3?" and when i replied no you could hear excitement in his tone... until i clarified the only stage i would be otherwise is 4... even tho this isn't really funny at all it makes me laugh.  i think its because i am the type of person that prefers to laugh than cry... so sometimes that translates to finding humor in some of the seemingly most inappropriate ways...

i am hoping to raise awareness for melanoma by talking to a group of girls at my alma mater high school this thursday.  but i think the same qualities that earned me this nickname are the ones making me nervous as hell about public speaking.  i was always kind of an odd duck... i am ok with that.  but even as judgemental as i was, i hate being judged myself...  i am hoping these girls listen to what i have to say... not assume anything as soon as they see me.  but i know i will be talking with high school girls... i am just trying to save them from ever feeling the way i did when i heard the term malignant melanoma in relation to myself... i hope they see that from presentation, and that is what they remember...  along with the basics about sun safety and knowing your skin...