all over the place...

alright... saw the specialist for bronchoscopy biopsy... got the call, it's not cancer!!! happy dance! but no answer on what it is... they are leaning toward damage done by interferon to an already weak organ... see, i was born with lung issues... had childhood asthma... then spent many years polluting my lungs... so i am to see a pulmonary specialist, get a cat scan and go from there... so we made a huge decision for our family... we are leaving beautiful southern california, my home, to restart in TX... hubby has family there... md anderson is there should i need them... life is so much cheaper there... so many reasons... but such a hard decision... but i am hoping i can find more continuity of care there... see, here its a gamble every drs appt... some are great, like dr. s... some are not, like my primary care clinic where i NEVER see the same dr twice... i have so much more to say... but no time right now... but am hoping in TX where its cheaper to be able to return to this blog completely... so for now i am taking another break... but hope to return soon after the first of the year...

distractions...

i know i disappeared for awhile... sorry. but i haven't had home internet in quite some time... and to be honest i felt like i had nothing new to share... same old complaining... until i got thrown a curveball last friday... my pet/ct scan showed junk on my lungs... now i need to have a bronchioscope ultrasound/biopsy within 10 days according to dr. S... i had a feeling that something showed... then when they called and asked me to come in earlier... driving there we hit traffic 2 exits from our destination... took 30 mins to get to our exit... all this time that feeling that something was wrong just kept increasing... and when the nurse took my oxygen reading, it was low, and didn't try to redo the reading... all brought me to when dr. S broke the news. alot of years i spent polluting my lungs... so i am very concerned about this procedure. actually, i am more nervous about the results of this test than anything... never thought i would hope for a respiratory infection, but here i am... and when dr. S told me to be the "squeeky wheel" with my insurance company i doubt she realized that would begin with her own staff... don't tell me to be the "squeeky wheel" on a friday before a 3 day weekend... because i will... and the office staff didn't appreciate that much. too bad. the quicker i get an answer the less distractions i need to occupy my time... my kitchen sparkles... and my bedroom has carpet, not dirty laundry all over the floor... and today i am babysitting... anything i can to attempt to distract myself from letting my mind get carried away... at this point i am waiting... for insurance approval... for scheduling, then procedure... and finally results. supposed to follow up with dr. S on friday the 22nd... will know more then... will update as soon as i am able to after that... just wanted to post while i had internet access...